Domestic violence in family law often goes far beyond physical harm. In a recent episode of the Children First Family Law®️ podcast, Krista sat down with Nil Buckley, a licensed professional counselor, licensed addiction counselor, and domestic violence clinical supervisor whose career has reshaped how courts and clinicians understand coercive control.
Originally from Brazil, Nil came to the United States in 2007 to pursue higher education and earned her master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling from the University of Colorado Colorado Springs. Over the past decade, she has worked in correctional settings, served as a domestic violence evaluator and expert witness, and founded Vivas Counseling and Care Forensic Solutions. Through her trauma-informed program, The CARE Method, she now trains professionals nationwide to recognize the patterns of power, control, and trauma that influence family systems.
In her conversation with Krista, Nil explains that coercive control includes a range of behaviors—financial restriction, isolation, intimidation, and legal abuse—that can devastate families without ever leaving a visible mark. She notes that global research now identifies 24 forms of abuse, and that many family law professionals still underestimate how these dynamics affect custody disputes and children’s well-being.
Nil and Krista also explore Colorado’s evolving domestic violence laws, including Kayden’s Law®️, which expands judicial responsibilities when abuse allegations arise. While Nil applauds the state’s progress, she also highlights the confusion and gaps these laws have created, particularly around how and by whom evaluations are conducted. Her mission is to bridge these divides, bringing clarity, compassion, and accountability to a system that too often misses the full picture of abuse.
By the end of the conversation, one message is clear: to protect children and survivors, family law professionals must move beyond the visible and learn to recognize the quieter, more insidious forms of harm. Nil’s ongoing work and future episodes in this series aim to do exactly that.
If you want to learn more about the Children First Family Law®️ Podcast, check out www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/coercive-control-accountability-custody-a-deep-dive-with-nil-buckley.