In this episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista Nash speaks with Allen Levy, MS LPC, about a truth too many families overlook: parenting after divorce is a job, and it needs to be treated like one.
Allen’s approach, developed over years of work in high-conflict custody cases, calls for parents to stop trying to “fix” their relationship and instead focus on managing the shared responsibility of raising children. His curriculum breaks the job down into four key actions: communicating, decision-making, problem-solving, and resolving conflict, all within the context of a job share.
The Parenting Job Description
Allen lays it out simply: your job is to get your child to adulthood—alive, safe, and capable of independent living. That means:
- Providing a livable home, basic needs, and medical care
- Supporting a child’s education (but not doing their homework)
- Offering emotional safety without dragging kids into adult issues
- Staying focused on the child, not each other
Parents don’t need to like each other. They need to do the work. That includes managing shift changes (formerly known as custody exchanges) in a way that’s consistent, boring, and free from drama. Courtesies matter. Emotional oversharing with your ex doesn’t.
When One Parent Won’t Cooperate
Allen makes a powerful point: you don’t need both parents to change. One parent behaving professionally can shift the dynamic and protect the child from emotional fallout. That means setting boundaries, refusing to react to conflict bait, and acting with calm consistency.
Parallel parenting, where the focus stays on the child rather than collaboration, is often the most realistic option for high-conflict situations. It works when parents understand their role and stop trying to control outcomes.
Professionalism Over Emotion
Too many parenting interventions focus on feelings. Allen argues that behavior matters more than emotional reconciliation. If parents act professionally, even while holding personal grievances, their children gain emotional stability.
He teaches parents to replace intimacy with courtesy. That simple shift reduces friction and keeps children out of the crossfire.
If you want to learn more about the Children First Family Law Podcast, check out www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/do-your-job-how-to-parent-after-divorce-with-alaskas-allen-levy-ms-lpc.