Key Takeaways
- Colorado courts focus on the best interests of the child, not parental rights.
- A clear, developmentally appropriate, and flexible parenting plan is essential.
- Co-parenting conflict, communication breakdown, and high-stress transitions often harm custody outcomes.
- Failure to meet a child’s emotional, developmental, and daily needs can lead to reduced parenting time.
- The courts favor structure, clarity, and consistency over rigid equality in parenting time.
Introduction
When parents separate or divorce in Colorado, one of the most emotionally charged and complex issues is custody. As a seasoned Divorce Attorney in Colorado, Krista Nash of Children First Family Law® helps clients across Denver, Lakewood, Arvada, Boulder, Colorado Springs, Greeley, and Pueblo navigate the ins and outs of family court. In this episode of the Children First Family Law Podcast, Krista shares the top three reasons people lose custody of their children in Colorado—and what you can do to protect your relationship with your kids.
Based on decades of experience as an attorney, mediator, parenting coordinator, and child advocate, Krista offers clear, compassionate guidance to help parents avoid the most common pitfalls in custody battles.
Reason 1: Failing to Meet Your Child’s Developmental Needs
Krista Nash emphasizes that a parenting plan should grow with your child. Custody plans that fail to reflect the age, emotional needs, and developmental stage of the child are often scrutinized by the court.
Infants and Toddlers
Young children have a limited concept of time, and long separations can cause distress. Krista recommends frequent, shorter visits with both parents rather than overnight stays when children are very young. Coordinating sleep and feeding schedules is critical. She shares examples of how inconsistent routines between households can lead to sleep problems, digestive issues, and fussiness in infants.
Preschool-Aged Children
For children around ages 4 to 6, Krista encourages slightly extended time with each parent while still maintaining regular contact. Parenting schedules like 2-2-3 or 4-3-3-4 allow for structure with flexibility. These children thrive on routine and predictability.
School-Aged Children
Children ages 7 to 12 can handle longer stretches away from each parent but still benefit from frequent contact. Plans like the 5-2-2-5 schedule provide consistency while reducing the stress of too many transitions. Exchanges centered around school drop-offs and pick-ups can minimize conflict.
Teenagers
Adolescents crave autonomy and typically prefer a week-on/week-off schedule to avoid shuttling between homes mid-week. Krista reminds parents that teenagers can adapt to two homes, but not to chronic uncertainty.
She encourages using neutral language when referring to homes (e.g., “the yellow house” instead of “mom’s house”) to help children feel grounded and secure.
Reason 2: High-Conflict Co-Parenting and Communication Failures
Co-parenting conflict is one of the leading causes of custody challenges in Colorado family court. Courts look unfavorably on behavior that puts children in the middle or undermines the other parent.
Parallel Parenting vs. Cooperative Co-Parenting
In high-conflict situations, Krista sometimes recommends “parallel parenting” as a temporary structure. Each parent operates independently with minimal communication. Exchanges are done in neutral locations with clear boundaries. While not ideal long-term, it can reduce tension in the short term.
Ultimately, though, the goal is cooperative co-parenting that puts children first.
Using Co-Parenting Apps
Krista strongly advises the use of tools like Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents. These apps help:
- Track conversations
- Keep communications clear and professional
- Provide timestamps to reduce disputes
- Enforce deadlines for response
She walks through examples of decision-making threads about choosing a pediatrician, showing how deadlines and clear expectations help reduce conflict and confusion.
Right of First Refusal
Krista also discusses why courts generally disfavor “right of first refusal” clauses, which require one parent to offer the other parent extra time if they can’t care for the child. She warns that these provisions often lead to surveillance-style conflicts, especially when new partners or extended family are involved.
Reason 3: Unclear, Unsafe, or Impractical Parenting Plans
Krista explains that the strongest parenting plans offer clarity, consistency, and flexibility. Courts look for signs that the plan is built around the child’s best interests—not the parents’ desire for “equal time.”
Decision-Making Responsibilities
Krista breaks down the three main categories in Colorado:
- Education: Which school the child will attend, IEPs, or gifted programs.
- Health: Medical and mental health decisions, including vaccinations.
- Extracurriculars: One parent cannot force the other to pay for or attend activities they didn’t agree to.
In Colorado, joint decision-making is preferred, but Krista also discusses split or hybrid models for families who struggle to reach agreement.
Special attention is given to religious decisions and relocation. Relocation that impacts geographic ties to the other parent requires court approval.
Transitions and Exchanges
Transitions are often stressful for kids. Krista recommends:
- Doing exchanges at school or daycare whenever possible
- Avoiding police stations (they create a hostile emotional tone)
- Never using children to deliver messages between parents
- Keeping facial expressions and tone calm and supportive
Holidays and Vacations
Krista advises alternating major holidays each year and being realistic about which holidays actually matter to your family. Include travel notice requirements and clear start/end times for holiday periods. Flexibility and generosity go a long way.
Birthday provisions, summer schedule shifts, and school breaks should also be addressed clearly in the plan.
Step-Up Plans and Long-Term Adaptation
A one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t work for families. Krista recommends step-up parenting plans—schedules that change over time as children grow. These can be especially helpful when:
- A child is approaching a school transition
- A parent is working on sobriety
- A plan needs to adapt for older children or teenagers
Include a review clause in your plan so you can revisit and revise as needed.
Technology, Travel, and Other Smart Clauses
Krista suggests adding clauses to avoid common conflicts:
- Make-up Time: Generally discouraged due to disruption.
- Technology Access: Define rules about phones, discipline, and usage across homes.
- Travel Notifications: Share location and contact info for overnight or out-of-state travel.
- Dispute Resolution: Mediation or parenting coordinators should be used before court.
Krista stresses that clarity in these areas reduces stress and litigation later on.
Hearing the Child’s Voice Without Burdening Them
While children shouldn’t be decision-makers, Krista believes they should feel heard. Ask neutral questions about how transitions are going. Encourage connection with extended family on both sides. Avoid language or behavior that pressures kids to choose sides.
Future-Proofing Your Parenting Plan
Life changes. Jobs change. Kids grow up. A future-proof parenting plan anticipates change and includes:
- Annual or biannual reviews
- Modification without litigation clauses
- Flexibility for remarriage, relocations, or major changes
When parents commit to structured cooperation, kids thrive. It doesn’t have to be perfect—just consistent, child-focused, and peaceful.
Call to Action
If you’re navigating custody issues and want to protect your time with your child, Children First Family Law® is here to help. As an experienced Divorce Attorney in Colorado, Krista Nash helps families in Denver, Lakewood, Arvada, Boulder, Colorado Springs, Greeley, and Pueblo build parenting plans that prioritize children while reducing conflict and confusion.
Schedule a consultation today:
- Call: (720) 252-9638
- Visit: https://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/contact/
Tell us a bit about your situation, and we’ll follow up by phone or email. Almost everything can be handled remotely—you usually don’t need to come into the office.