When families separate, children often find themselves caught between two homes, two routines, and two emotional worlds. In this episode of the Children First Family Law podcast, Krista speaks with psychologist Dr. Susan Fletcher about how children adapt after divorce and what parents and professionals can do to facilitate a smooth transition.
Understanding the Child’s Experience
Dr. Fletcher has worked for decades with children in court-involved families. She explains that even young children pay close attention to the way adults talk about divorce. Words like “visitation” and “custody” can feel cold or territorial to kids. Replacing those terms with more neutral language, such as “parenting time,” can immediately lower stress and signal emotional safety.
Children also tend to adapt in different ways. Some show signs of resilience right away. Others struggle quietly, changing behavior from one household to the next to avoid conflict or please each parent. Dr. Fletcher encourages parents and professionals to recognize these shifts not as dishonesty, but as a coping strategy.
Home Visits Offer Critical Context
A recurring theme in the conversation is the importance of observing children in their home environments. Dr. Fletcher explains that in-home observations often reveal subtleties that clinical or courtroom settings can’t. Seeing a child’s bedroom, watching how routines unfold, and witnessing parent-child dynamics in real time provides a richer picture than any report.
Krista and Dr. Fletcher also discuss how mental health professionals can support families without unintentionally making things worse. Leading with curiosity and openness, rather than judgment or prescription, builds trust with both children and parents.
Professionals Face Their Own Challenges
For therapists and evaluators, family court cases carry unique pressures. Many avoid testifying out of fear of complaints to the licensing board. Dr. Fletcher shares how this fear silences therapists who could otherwise serve as crucial voices for the child’s emotional experience.
The episode offers thoughtful advice on how professionals can remain engaged, protect their boundaries, and continue to support families through challenging transitions. Dr. Fletcher also emphasizes the importance of ongoing community and professional support, particularly for those working at the intersection of mental health and the law.
Creating Hopeful Paths Forward
While divorce is never easy, Dr. Fletcher reminds listeners that many children do adjust well, with the right support. Emotional availability, flexible routines, and a willingness to listen can create the kind of security kids need to thrive.
If you want to learn more about the Children First Family Law Podcast, check out www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/divorce-two-homes-and-a-childs-voice-what-parents-and-professionals-need-to-know-with-dr-susan-fletcher.