Key Takeaways
- Predictability equals emotional safety: Children thrive when routines are clear, consistent, and calm—especially during and after divorce.
- Parenting plans must evolve with your child: A toddler’s needs are drastically different from a teenager’s; flexible and developmentally appropriate plans are key.
- Joint decision-making doesn’t mean constant conflict: Clearly defining who decides what—education, health, extracurriculars—avoids power struggles.
- Communication structure prevents chaos: Use co-parenting apps and conflict ladders to handle disputes without court.
- Your plan should be future-proof: Life changes, and your parenting plan should too—review it regularly to meet your child’s changing needs.
Introduction
If you’re navigating separation or divorce, one of the most important tools you can create for your child’s emotional wellbeing is a clear, compassionate parenting plan. In this episode of the Children First Family Law® Podcast, Colorado-based Divorce Attorney, Krista Nash, shares her insights from years of experience helping families across Denver, Lakewood, Arvada, Boulder, Colorado Springs, Greeley, and Pueblo. Her mission? To guide families toward peaceful, practical, and child-focused plans—especially for those seeking an amicable, uncontested divorce.
Whether you’re divorcing cooperatively or facing conflict, this comprehensive guide breaks down Krista’s roadmap for building a parenting plan that works—for you and your child.
Clarity and Predictability: The Foundation of a Strong Parenting Plan
Krista Nash emphasizes that the core goal of any parenting plan should be to provide predictability, not perfection.
“Predictability is kind,” Krista says. “It gives children emotional safety.”
A solid plan should make transitions easy to understand—who’s picking them up, where they’re sleeping, and when they’ll see each parent. This level of clarity reduces anxiety and gives children room to just be kids—not “kids of divorce.”
It’s not about rigid 50/50 splits. It’s about what’s practical, peaceful, and in the best interest of the child.
Tailoring Parenting Schedules to a Child’s Developmental Stage
No two children—and no two ages—are the same. Krista walks us through how to shape parenting schedules based on a child’s developmental needs.
Infants and Toddlers
- Require short, frequent visits—not long separations.
- Focus on routine consistency (sleep, meals, comfort items).
- Use neutral, familiar places (like daycare) for exchanges.
- Communicate about naps, feeding schedules, and even things like milk preferences to avoid unnecessary stress or tummy troubles.
Preschoolers (Ages 4–6)
- Thrive on structure, but can handle slightly longer blocks.
- Consider schedules like 2-2-3 or 4-3-3-4 (Google these for visual calendars).
- Allow brief video calls to maintain emotional bonds.
- Keep exchanges friendly and smooth—kids watch tone and body language more than words.
School-Aged Children (Ages 7–12)
- Benefit from predictability around school.
- 5-2-2-5 schedule often works well: each parent gets consistent weekdays and alternates weekends.
- School drop-offs/pick-ups are great transition points.
- Clearly define responsibility on school days (e.g., if a child gets sick).
Teens
- Want autonomy and input.
- Often prefer week-on/week-off due to school, sports, and social schedules.
- Avoid forcing too many transitions—let them have some say.
- Label homes by neutral names (e.g., “Blue House” vs. “Cedar Street”) to give children a sense of belonging in both.
Popular Parenting Time Frameworks to Consider
Krista outlines several parenting time models:
- Week-on/week-off – Simple and effective for older kids.
- 5-2-2-5 – Stable weekday parenting for younger children.
- 4-3-3-4 – Balanced time, frequent contact.
- 2-2-3 – Ideal for young children who need short separations.
- Alternating weekends + midweek visit – Great when one parent has a more demanding schedule or lives farther away.
- Nesting – Children stay in one home, and parents rotate in/out. Usually a temporary option during transitions.
Decision-Making Responsibilities: Avoiding Power Struggles
Who makes what decisions matters—especially if you’re aiming for an amicable uncontested divorce.
Common decision-making categories:
- Education – What school, IEPs, gifted programs, etc.
- Health – Medical, mental health, therapy, vaccinations.
- Religion – Exposure to traditions vs. major religious decisions.
- Extracurriculars – Participation and cost-sharing should be agreed upon.
Models for decision-making:
- Joint – Both parents agree on major issues (most common).
- Divided/Split – Each parent controls certain categories.
- Hybrid – Joint decisions, but with a tie-breaker process (mediator, coordinator, or parenting decision-maker).
- Sole – One parent decides but should still consult the other.
Domestic violence history may affect the court’s willingness to order joint decision-making.
How to Handle Communication and Conflict Without Court
You’ll need clear communication rules in your parenting plan. Krista recommends:
- Use apps like Talking Parents or Our Family Wizard to centralize and track discussions.
- Set response timelines (e.g., 7 days to reply to non-urgent requests).
- Conflict ladder – Step-by-step process: attempt discussion → request mediation → escalate if needed.
“Even how you ask about a new doctor matters,” Krista says. Clear, respectful requests with deadlines make it easier to cooperate—and to prove your efforts if legal action becomes necessary.
Right of First Refusal and New Relationships
Right of First Refusal
- Should only apply to overnights—not quick errands.
- Avoid letting it become a control tactic.
- Include exemptions (e.g., grandparent care, family events).
New Partners
- Recommend waiting at least 6 months before introducing someone new to your children.
- Notify the co-parent before introductions.
- Avoid overnight visits with new partners too soon.
- Never weaponize the introduction process—children suffer when they’re caught in the middle.
Transitions and Exchanges: Keeping Kids Out of the Crossfire
- Pick neutral exchange locations (daycare, parking lot, not police stations).
- Never make your child a messenger.
- Use friendly greetings and tone—even a simple “Have a great time” helps kids feel safe.
Holidays, Vacations, Birthdays: Plan Ahead for Peace
A good plan will:
- Alternate major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc.).
- Specify start/end times and exchange locations.
- Include travel notice rules for out-of-state or overnight trips.
- Address birthdays (consider shared celebrations or alternate-day celebrations).
- Define summer schedules that allow longer parenting time blocks as children age.
Building Step-Up Parenting Plans that Adapt Over Time
Step-up plans gradually expand parenting time as situations stabilize. Great for:
- Very young children.
- Parents rebuilding trust or sobriety.
- Milestone transitions (starting school, finishing treatment, etc.).
“Parenting plans should evolve,” Krista reminds us. “They’re not one-size-fits-all forever.”
What If You’re Co-Parenting with High Conflict? Try Parallel Parenting
In cases where trust is broken or conflict is intense:
- Minimize direct communication—stick to apps.
- Each parent handles day-to-day decisions independently.
- Neutral, low-contact exchanges.
- Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
Not a failure—just a temporary structure for stability.
Smart Parenting Plan Clauses You Might Overlook
- Makeup time – Often causes more conflict than it’s worth.
- Technology – Define phone use, who disciplines, and what happens if a child loses privileges.
- Travel – Require written notice for overnight or out-of-state trips.
- Dispute resolution – Include a named mediator, parenting coordinator, or decision-maker.
- Annual review clause – Agree to revisit the plan regularly to adjust as kids grow.
Listening to Your Children: Hearing Without Burdening
- Let kids voice how transitions are going—without giving them decision-making power.
- Watch the films Split and Split Up together and talk about what you want to avoid.
- Encourage both parental and extended family relationships.
- Keep household rules (bedtime, tech use, homework) consistent across homes.
Future-Proof Your Parenting Plan
Life changes. Jobs shift. People move. Kids grow.
Your parenting plan should:
- Allow for updates without court (mediation first).
- Include flexible language that supports growth and cooperation.
- Prioritize solutions over litigation.
“A parenting plan is a roadmap for peace,” Krista says. “Structure is one of the greatest kindnesses you can offer your children.”
Call to Action
If you’re ready to create a parenting plan that puts your child first—without unnecessary conflict or court battles—Children First Family Law® is here to help. Whether you’re going through a divorce or need to modify an existing plan, our team offers compassionate, strategic guidance tailored to your family.
📞 Call today: (720) 252-9638
📅 Schedule your consultation online: https://childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/contact/