Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) leave deep marks on children, often shaping how they view themselves, their families, and the world around them. In part three of our ACEs, Trauma, and Hope podcast series, Columbine survivor Chris Markham joins host Krista Nash to talk about resilience and the difficult work of breaking intergenerational cycles of pain.
Chris’s story is one of survival and transformation. After growing up in a home marked by abuse and parental conflict, and later living through the Columbine High School shooting, he faced post-traumatic stress and anger that threatened to derail his future. Therapy became a turning point, offering not just support but also redirection. By investing his time in safe spaces—his Taekwondo practice, supportive friendships, and a nurturing partner—Chris built a foundation for healing that allowed him to move forward.
A central theme of this conversation is forgiveness. Chris explains that while he has not forgotten the harm of his past, choosing to forgive allowed him to stop carrying its weight into his adult life and career. He also reflects on the importance of recognizing intergenerational trauma, noting that many parents who cause harm have lived through their own pain. Acknowledging this reality does not excuse destructive behavior, but it helps explain how cycles continue—and how intentional choices can break them.
For parents navigating divorce or separation, Chris offers a clear message: children love both parents, even when parents no longer love each other. When one parent undermines the other, it plants seeds of resentment that can permanently alter the parent-child relationship. Respect, patience, and incremental trust-building are critical for protecting children from further harm.
Chris’s journey underscores that trauma does not have to define the next generation. By choosing healing, forgiveness, and respectful co-parenting, families can give children the chance to grow up without carrying the same weight their parents once bore.
If you want to learn more about the Children First Family Law Podcast, check out www.childrenfirstfamilylaw.com/aces-trauma-and-hope-understanding-childhood-pain-and-building-resilience-part-3-of-a-4-part-series.